The period after exams is always filled with the usual post exam fun activities like karaoke and movies. I have 3 months of holiday, so I'm still deciding how to make full use of the time other than one off fun activites like these.
For one, I'll be picking up keyboard and continue on guitar self learning. And sing more, regardless of where, what and how. It's also important to keep fit, as a sedentary lifestyle breeds laziness and makes one feel sluggish. I wonder if I can get back to teaching though, although there doesn't seem to be a current vacancy at my old school and the June break is coming anyway.
I just hope there will be changes..positive ones that will occur in this long break. No matter what, it always feels good to have a positive change now and then. And appreciate it when it comes.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
got it done and over with
The exams are finally over...and Monday was mentally torturing.
It's like watching 3 episodes of LOTR in a marathon sitting. Was made worse by the fact that we had to line up about an hour before hand to take temperature. We were then ushered in with much haste into the exam hall, where last minute revision was done. Very unlike the usual system.
It was no wonder I registered a 37.8 before my last paper. And they hastily rushed me along to the 2nd station, where the nurses took a second, and deemed me 'normal'. It was slightly interesting that we had to walk past a really giant thermo scanner and as 37.8 popped up on the screen, some dude with a camera rushed up and captured several shots of me in rapid succession. I wonder if they do this to random people so they can post it in some school health board, or was it just for face recognition should something turn nasty.
It felt rather weird.
Not eating or drinking anything the entire day didn't help much either. All the time in between, or lack thereof, was spent on revision and temperature taking. Hence, the particularly heavy and spicy McDonald's dinner I had ordered out of gluttony and enthusiasm didn't go too well with the tummy last night..and this morning.
Ok, time on my hands..time to relax and enjoy. Phew.
It's like watching 3 episodes of LOTR in a marathon sitting. Was made worse by the fact that we had to line up about an hour before hand to take temperature. We were then ushered in with much haste into the exam hall, where last minute revision was done. Very unlike the usual system.
It was no wonder I registered a 37.8 before my last paper. And they hastily rushed me along to the 2nd station, where the nurses took a second, and deemed me 'normal'. It was slightly interesting that we had to walk past a really giant thermo scanner and as 37.8 popped up on the screen, some dude with a camera rushed up and captured several shots of me in rapid succession. I wonder if they do this to random people so they can post it in some school health board, or was it just for face recognition should something turn nasty.
It felt rather weird.
Not eating or drinking anything the entire day didn't help much either. All the time in between, or lack thereof, was spent on revision and temperature taking. Hence, the particularly heavy and spicy McDonald's dinner I had ordered out of gluttony and enthusiasm didn't go too well with the tummy last night..and this morning.
Ok, time on my hands..time to relax and enjoy. Phew.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Quick update admist the exams :/
Spent the last month getting ready for the examinations. Already cleared 2 papers and having 3 coming Monday. Just a short update here.
Glad I survived my Grammaticalisation and Microeconomics papers. For 'G', I'm proud I survived thus far as it's a Level 3000 module, though am pretty unsure about how my grades are going to turn out. The examination was fine, but I didn't bother checking out my term paper results for fear that it might distract me from the studying. Had already been dealt several minor blows in the course of the semester.
As for microecons, I'm happy I managed to finish most of the paper smoothly and surely, a stark contrast to the disaster they call the mid terms. I've done my best, and whatever it is, whether it was enough to salvage my grade, I'm happy it's done and over with, and ended on a slightly better note. Would like to specially thank Oliver who came over to study with me. It really did help a lot.
Ok, I need to get back to studying now. Just a short while more before I hit the sack. Gotta brace myself for Monday. 3 papers. Morning, afternoon, evening.
Well at least it'll be over in a jiffy.
Glad I survived my Grammaticalisation and Microeconomics papers. For 'G', I'm proud I survived thus far as it's a Level 3000 module, though am pretty unsure about how my grades are going to turn out. The examination was fine, but I didn't bother checking out my term paper results for fear that it might distract me from the studying. Had already been dealt several minor blows in the course of the semester.
As for microecons, I'm happy I managed to finish most of the paper smoothly and surely, a stark contrast to the disaster they call the mid terms. I've done my best, and whatever it is, whether it was enough to salvage my grade, I'm happy it's done and over with, and ended on a slightly better note. Would like to specially thank Oliver who came over to study with me. It really did help a lot.
Ok, I need to get back to studying now. Just a short while more before I hit the sack. Gotta brace myself for Monday. 3 papers. Morning, afternoon, evening.
Well at least it'll be over in a jiffy.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
screaming in a vacuum
I meant to sleep at 12am but I couldn't so I got back up to use the computer. Now it's 230am and I'm still here. Sleepy Sunday up ahead.
People want people to read their blogs. It's some sort of personal gratification and ego satisfaction to create an avenue to express their feelings. Some post big big while others do it discretely, yet yearn wildly for people to read their words. Maybe it's the desire to want people to know the side of you that they probably didn't know about. Some just need people to listen, and they hope by letting people have access, their feelings can be heard. It's like screaming out loud in a vacuum, hoping that your voice will be skimpily sufficient to get to the outside, yet you do not want to broadcast it. Oh ok what dumb analogy.
Yes. I want to be heard. How I hope people can read my blog and understand what I'm going through. It's not difficult to admit this given how I don't really give a heck to mostly everything around me. But I wonder who's reading anyway..I'm already grateful enough to pen down my words so coherently despite the wild thoughts bouncing off the walls of my brain.
I guess I really want a convertible. argh crap.
People want people to read their blogs. It's some sort of personal gratification and ego satisfaction to create an avenue to express their feelings. Some post big big while others do it discretely, yet yearn wildly for people to read their words. Maybe it's the desire to want people to know the side of you that they probably didn't know about. Some just need people to listen, and they hope by letting people have access, their feelings can be heard. It's like screaming out loud in a vacuum, hoping that your voice will be skimpily sufficient to get to the outside, yet you do not want to broadcast it. Oh ok what dumb analogy.
Yes. I want to be heard. How I hope people can read my blog and understand what I'm going through. It's not difficult to admit this given how I don't really give a heck to mostly everything around me. But I wonder who's reading anyway..I'm already grateful enough to pen down my words so coherently despite the wild thoughts bouncing off the walls of my brain.
I guess I really want a convertible. argh crap.
an attempt to escape
In one of my recent thoughts of extravagance again, the idea of changing car keeps popping up. I love cars. Understatement.
I've always wanted a convertible or a sports car or a combination of both. This desire haunts me to the brink of being realistic and practical. It's not right man. Owning a car is already a blessing now, what the hell am I trying to do by hankering after something so lavish? Yet, that familiar feeling of longing creeps up everytime I see some flashy car that catches my eye. Oh heck, I even sit at a cafe facing out at the road so I can catch any sports car that rumbles by.
So how do I make dreams become reality? Go buy Toto tickets religiously twice a week and hope I strike the big one? My dad actually encourages me to do that. What crap..though there is still hope when you do that. Or wait for my stocks to actually post a decent return, then at least a convertible won't be out of reach. Speaking of which, I ought to reorganize my portfolio really soon.
I'm actually a brat. Bet no one knew that. I'm that chao ah beng your parents warned you about.
I've always wanted a convertible or a sports car or a combination of both. This desire haunts me to the brink of being realistic and practical. It's not right man. Owning a car is already a blessing now, what the hell am I trying to do by hankering after something so lavish? Yet, that familiar feeling of longing creeps up everytime I see some flashy car that catches my eye. Oh heck, I even sit at a cafe facing out at the road so I can catch any sports car that rumbles by.
So how do I make dreams become reality? Go buy Toto tickets religiously twice a week and hope I strike the big one? My dad actually encourages me to do that. What crap..though there is still hope when you do that. Or wait for my stocks to actually post a decent return, then at least a convertible won't be out of reach. Speaking of which, I ought to reorganize my portfolio really soon.
I'm actually a brat. Bet no one knew that. I'm that chao ah beng your parents warned you about.
stop being emo and go sleep
Get on with life, my friend. There's no use hankering over something that you know you won't get back, at least in the short run.
I'm probably fucking weak, and this loss is like someone yanking what you dear away from you so forcefully, you crumble under its loss. I've never really accepted it, though I have brought myself to understand. And trying to pick up the pieces is a tough thing to do, because you know your heart is some place, and it's difficult getting it back on track.
I don't understand why people ask me to move on like it's so fucking easy. It's not. Sanity is urging me to get my act together, while my heart refuses to budge. It just seems wrong to let everything go.
I've got myself hurt this once because I've followed my heart too much. Heck, I don't care if I get hurt again because I can only follow my heart and nothing else. It's just too much a burden if I ignore it.
I'm a wreck. I'm trying very hard to pull myself together. Really.
I'm probably fucking weak, and this loss is like someone yanking what you dear away from you so forcefully, you crumble under its loss. I've never really accepted it, though I have brought myself to understand. And trying to pick up the pieces is a tough thing to do, because you know your heart is some place, and it's difficult getting it back on track.
I don't understand why people ask me to move on like it's so fucking easy. It's not. Sanity is urging me to get my act together, while my heart refuses to budge. It just seems wrong to let everything go.
I've got myself hurt this once because I've followed my heart too much. Heck, I don't care if I get hurt again because I can only follow my heart and nothing else. It's just too much a burden if I ignore it.
I'm a wreck. I'm trying very hard to pull myself together. Really.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
maybe if i sleep well my troubles will disappear
The wonders of a good night's sleep.
It is puzzling how I'm starting to consider sleeping at 12am somewhat of a luxury but then I realise it was mostly up to me anyways. No one forced me to sleep at 2am.
Should I sleep early today? Haven't done much work recently and the guilt is crawling up on me. The bed is pretty tempting though. Maybe I really should be sleeping. Lessons at 8am tomorrow and if I'm really serious about getting up to run at 630am then I should hit the sack soon.
I need an escape now. Just a brief one..away from the books and issues that haunt me incessantly. Yet, at this point, it doesn't seem that I have anyone or anywhere to turn to. Just myself facing tremendous bits of debris life is throwing my way.
Maybe I really do need some sleep.
It is puzzling how I'm starting to consider sleeping at 12am somewhat of a luxury but then I realise it was mostly up to me anyways. No one forced me to sleep at 2am.
Should I sleep early today? Haven't done much work recently and the guilt is crawling up on me. The bed is pretty tempting though. Maybe I really should be sleeping. Lessons at 8am tomorrow and if I'm really serious about getting up to run at 630am then I should hit the sack soon.
I need an escape now. Just a brief one..away from the books and issues that haunt me incessantly. Yet, at this point, it doesn't seem that I have anyone or anywhere to turn to. Just myself facing tremendous bits of debris life is throwing my way.
Maybe I really do need some sleep.
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