And so it goes, the day came as quickly as it went, and it was over in a short span of 2 hours. The andrenaline was overwhelming as you realise that whatever you had set out to achieve was finally done, and I personally felt it was the personal best I had set out for.
The journey had been a blast, and I'm glad the past 4 months had helped me to improve as I worked on my passion. It gave me some form of direction and kept me focused, and it didn't feel like a chore at any point of time even when it was those 2 songs day in day out.
As I snap out of the excitement of Emerge, tumbling back to the dull, hard reality of all books and no song, I wonder when the next opportunity will come along and transform me yet again into that temporary superhero alter ego I had on for 2 hours on Monday.
The superhero with meticulously styled hair, made mighty shiny with sparkling blue dust. The superhero with a nicely layered get-up and a dash of bling hanging around his neck, emblazoning the front of his chest. That was his on stage persona, vastly different from his usual self of oversized polo t-shirts and ancient sandals. And yet, when the inspiration hits, he will be there to save the world.
Meanwhile, while I get to savour the sweet aftermath of the concert, I also get to feel another sort of andrenaline rush that is all too familiar. The slight wave of panic as you hit the books and realise you are short of time because you've been dwelling too much in idolmania the past few weeks.
Excitement, some might call it.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
what's after this
Spent the day rehearsing at Lunar.
At this point of time, when Emerge is just 2 days away, the feeling of finally getting the opportunity to take the stage overwhelms. Tickets are at $15, and that means there must be at least some sorta standard worth paying for. Hence the pressure to remain consistent persists.
This shouldn't be a problem for me now. If nothing goes haywire, my voice should be doing fine on Monday. At the point of time, it's still a little sore from all the rehearsals.
Ought to be catching up on my work soon. Mid terms coming up and the term break is just 1 week. Time is pretty much flying past and it's bewildering. I suppose if you are busy working towards some form of target everything around you turns into a blur. It has been a quick 4 months since the talk of Emerge began and Monday would be long awaited. Post-Emerge, not quite.
I really do hope I won't keep getting held back by the past and constantly move forward. I am not sure about the opportunities that have slipped by in the midst of all the brooding, but I sure hope the end of Emerge would signal a new beginning with changed perspectives.
Hopefully optimistic.
At this point of time, when Emerge is just 2 days away, the feeling of finally getting the opportunity to take the stage overwhelms. Tickets are at $15, and that means there must be at least some sorta standard worth paying for. Hence the pressure to remain consistent persists.
This shouldn't be a problem for me now. If nothing goes haywire, my voice should be doing fine on Monday. At the point of time, it's still a little sore from all the rehearsals.
Ought to be catching up on my work soon. Mid terms coming up and the term break is just 1 week. Time is pretty much flying past and it's bewildering. I suppose if you are busy working towards some form of target everything around you turns into a blur. It has been a quick 4 months since the talk of Emerge began and Monday would be long awaited. Post-Emerge, not quite.
I really do hope I won't keep getting held back by the past and constantly move forward. I am not sure about the opportunities that have slipped by in the midst of all the brooding, but I sure hope the end of Emerge would signal a new beginning with changed perspectives.
Hopefully optimistic.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
a feeble attempt at digging Vday
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!
This day, though already highly commercialised by media and businesses, still presents new, sprouting money spinning ventures year after year. Love afterall, sells.
Giving it some serious thought, this day probably makes not much of a sense, since Love, being the formless, omnipresent yet compelling force of emotions enveloping each and every heart and mind around the universe cannot possibly be framed up or packaged into a single day on the calender.
It is precisely this factor of Love that makes it all the more difficult to grasp and come up with a set of rules and categories like other social realms. It varies wildly across individuals and strikes in the most mysterious of ways, triggered off by things remotely imaginable to the mind. And that's where the heart vs brain argument always strikes me. I've almost given up trying to put the argument in definite perspectives because the possibilities are almost limitness trying to balance the 2.
It is human nature that people are born to love and yearn to receive love, or what they perceive as love and they seek it in others. My humble thoughts bug me to perceive love as an antidote for the fear of loneliness, which people by nature also fear. Inherent instinct of survival gives us that tinge of selfishness and possession, and anxiety creates the need for connection. I will not falter, as I have the pillar of Love to hold up my needs.
In this world, there is no hate. Human nature did not program us to hate. There is only positive love and negative love. Positive love develops from the subconscious discovery of inherent similarities between indviduals, while negative love results from the lack of understanding and the overpowering of survival instincts over the need for connection.
So the real purpose of Vday is being compromised to a greater need for the commercial world. Demand and supply. Vday now takes love at face value and markets the hell out of that idea. Sure, you don't need a teddy bear to show love. I would say a token of appreciation for meeting my needs.
This entry sounds really serious. However, I'm probably only skimming the surface with my warped ideas of definition. So, please do take it with a pinch of salt..it is afterall, the result of random instances of brooding put together in words.
Ok back to economics.
This day, though already highly commercialised by media and businesses, still presents new, sprouting money spinning ventures year after year. Love afterall, sells.
Giving it some serious thought, this day probably makes not much of a sense, since Love, being the formless, omnipresent yet compelling force of emotions enveloping each and every heart and mind around the universe cannot possibly be framed up or packaged into a single day on the calender.
It is precisely this factor of Love that makes it all the more difficult to grasp and come up with a set of rules and categories like other social realms. It varies wildly across individuals and strikes in the most mysterious of ways, triggered off by things remotely imaginable to the mind. And that's where the heart vs brain argument always strikes me. I've almost given up trying to put the argument in definite perspectives because the possibilities are almost limitness trying to balance the 2.
It is human nature that people are born to love and yearn to receive love, or what they perceive as love and they seek it in others. My humble thoughts bug me to perceive love as an antidote for the fear of loneliness, which people by nature also fear. Inherent instinct of survival gives us that tinge of selfishness and possession, and anxiety creates the need for connection. I will not falter, as I have the pillar of Love to hold up my needs.
In this world, there is no hate. Human nature did not program us to hate. There is only positive love and negative love. Positive love develops from the subconscious discovery of inherent similarities between indviduals, while negative love results from the lack of understanding and the overpowering of survival instincts over the need for connection.
So the real purpose of Vday is being compromised to a greater need for the commercial world. Demand and supply. Vday now takes love at face value and markets the hell out of that idea. Sure, you don't need a teddy bear to show love. I would say a token of appreciation for meeting my needs.
This entry sounds really serious. However, I'm probably only skimming the surface with my warped ideas of definition. So, please do take it with a pinch of salt..it is afterall, the result of random instances of brooding put together in words.
Ok back to economics.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
i exude peaceful aura.
The best type of blog ever never surfaces.
For once there is knowing and awareness that there is someone out there reading, feelings and expressions can never ever be put down in its total glory that reflects the innermost thoughts of the author. People, even those who claim write with abandon, are simply people. No one likes to be judged. This, subconsciously affects the things you share with others and the preferred style of expression.
My friend just told me about the style of writing here. As she put it, there is a certain peace and stillness about my writing that doesn't seem to reflect the vivid emotions I have attempted to 'describe' throughout my recent posts. Perhaps even passive. Maybe I'm subconsciously channeling behaviour in real life. It takes a whole lot to get me excited, and a whole lot more to make me shed a tear. Yet deep down there is this cauldron of thoughts boiling, and god knows what kind of truth it might bare should it simmer over the fire long enough.
Or maybe it's because of the white background that is generating some peaceful aura that affects my readers. Who knows? It's all psychological.
Speaking of psychology, I was thinking recently how intriguing it would be to deeply understand an individual. Afterall, throughout our lives, we've been subconsciously dealing out scores to people we have only met once or twice, basing our judgement on prejudice or experience. Oh how I yearn for deep conversation, something that would bridge gaps and more importantly, create awareness of the lives around you. A clean slate would be a nice starting point.
You might be surprised how someone can be so similar or so vastly different from you. Not everyone is leading a normal lifestyle.
For once there is knowing and awareness that there is someone out there reading, feelings and expressions can never ever be put down in its total glory that reflects the innermost thoughts of the author. People, even those who claim write with abandon, are simply people. No one likes to be judged. This, subconsciously affects the things you share with others and the preferred style of expression.
My friend just told me about the style of writing here. As she put it, there is a certain peace and stillness about my writing that doesn't seem to reflect the vivid emotions I have attempted to 'describe' throughout my recent posts. Perhaps even passive. Maybe I'm subconsciously channeling behaviour in real life. It takes a whole lot to get me excited, and a whole lot more to make me shed a tear. Yet deep down there is this cauldron of thoughts boiling, and god knows what kind of truth it might bare should it simmer over the fire long enough.
Or maybe it's because of the white background that is generating some peaceful aura that affects my readers. Who knows? It's all psychological.
Speaking of psychology, I was thinking recently how intriguing it would be to deeply understand an individual. Afterall, throughout our lives, we've been subconsciously dealing out scores to people we have only met once or twice, basing our judgement on prejudice or experience. Oh how I yearn for deep conversation, something that would bridge gaps and more importantly, create awareness of the lives around you. A clean slate would be a nice starting point.
You might be surprised how someone can be so similar or so vastly different from you. Not everyone is leading a normal lifestyle.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Emerge dreams
Had rehearsal in school for the afternoon. Yes. It's a Sunday and there's rehearsal. Don't get me wrong, I would gladly return to school at 3am to sing. The tight schedule all the way up to Emerge required us to return on Sundays as well.
Given the chance to perform at Lunar Bar on the 23rd is really a dream come true for me. I had always wanted to perform on a larger stage, to a larger audience and hopefully touch them with my song. All these years I've enjoyed singing, and it feels great to at least do something constructive out of it, even if it's only for one time..because it's a chance for people to recognise your effort. Most importantly, it's a personal target I've set out to achieve.
It's fun practising all this while and I finally realise why people never tire when they do the things they love. Similarly, it is also why people always go out of the way to please the ones they love, never expecting anything in return. Both cases are driven by love.
I'll be singing Eason Chan's 'Aren't you glad' and 神木与瞳's ' 为你而活 '. 'Aren't you glad' is one of Eason's english songs and the lyrics make so much sense and impact that the first time I heard it, I wanted to perform it. From the auditions all the way up to the first note the live band had conjured up based on listening to the original track, I was greatly attracted to the song. In fact, the more I practised and rehearsed, the more I loved the song. It just had this unspoken impact.
For the other song, it's one powerhouse rock song. How many times I've yearned to sing a rock song on stage. Haha. Now that I've finally got the chance to scream in public, I do hope I get to bring the house that night. My only concern is my fellow duet singer. I'm taking this very seriously and I hope she can put in her best also.
23rd February. A date of significant meaning.
Every song has a message waiting to be put into life. Sure, that day when am singing, there'll probably be several in the audience who can relate to the music and lyrics. I would be just glad to put it in melody for them. Yet, the people I want most to be there will not be and it's terribly disappointing. I want you to see me do what I've always wanted to do. Living a dream is exhilarating but being there alone is just barren.
23rd February. Emerge. Lunar Fusion Bar at Clarke Quay. $15. Contact me for tickets and advice on how to sneak in if you are underaged.
Given the chance to perform at Lunar Bar on the 23rd is really a dream come true for me. I had always wanted to perform on a larger stage, to a larger audience and hopefully touch them with my song. All these years I've enjoyed singing, and it feels great to at least do something constructive out of it, even if it's only for one time..because it's a chance for people to recognise your effort. Most importantly, it's a personal target I've set out to achieve.
It's fun practising all this while and I finally realise why people never tire when they do the things they love. Similarly, it is also why people always go out of the way to please the ones they love, never expecting anything in return. Both cases are driven by love.
I'll be singing Eason Chan's 'Aren't you glad' and 神木与瞳's ' 为你而活 '. 'Aren't you glad' is one of Eason's english songs and the lyrics make so much sense and impact that the first time I heard it, I wanted to perform it. From the auditions all the way up to the first note the live band had conjured up based on listening to the original track, I was greatly attracted to the song. In fact, the more I practised and rehearsed, the more I loved the song. It just had this unspoken impact.
For the other song, it's one powerhouse rock song. How many times I've yearned to sing a rock song on stage. Haha. Now that I've finally got the chance to scream in public, I do hope I get to bring the house that night. My only concern is my fellow duet singer. I'm taking this very seriously and I hope she can put in her best also.
23rd February. A date of significant meaning.
Every song has a message waiting to be put into life. Sure, that day when am singing, there'll probably be several in the audience who can relate to the music and lyrics. I would be just glad to put it in melody for them. Yet, the people I want most to be there will not be and it's terribly disappointing. I want you to see me do what I've always wanted to do. Living a dream is exhilarating but being there alone is just barren.
23rd February. Emerge. Lunar Fusion Bar at Clarke Quay. $15. Contact me for tickets and advice on how to sneak in if you are underaged.
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