...

Sometimes I don't know why I do or say certain things that eventually make me regret or feel like crap, 2 things I never ever want to go through.

For goodness sake's, I don't even know what I want right now, which leads me to such crap I'm doing to get by. I need to focus on the big picture, and work toward happiness. Sometimes I feel I should just be some heartless bloke, at least things would be so much easier.

Do I actually know what I want. Heck no. And this floating in the middle of nowhere is killing me. I wish time stood still to let me halt and think. But no, life goes on and things keep changing.

it's good

Have been really busy playing nowadays. It's really great hanging out with close friends and getting to know them better.

Yesterday was especially fruitful, having piano lessons in the morning and then staying through the day, helping out on some cooking and dining together later on. It actually made me slightly more interested in cooking as it didn't seem as tough as I made it out to be. Hmm. I guess it's actually much easier if there are several chefs instead of one, which also makes it more fun when we cook together.

Caught 'The Transformers' near midnight and nearly fell asleep near the end. Having dozed off on the first one, I had to fight the urge as my eyes were already half closed..Fortunately I didn't and made it till the end.

I had never appreciated the presence of friends so much ever before as their company and conversation really did make me happier and probably gave me some new perspectives which I greatly needed. =)