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Sometimes I don't know why I do or say certain things that eventually make me regret or feel like crap, 2 things I never ever want to go through.

For goodness sake's, I don't even know what I want right now, which leads me to such crap I'm doing to get by. I need to focus on the big picture, and work toward happiness. Sometimes I feel I should just be some heartless bloke, at least things would be so much easier.

Do I actually know what I want. Heck no. And this floating in the middle of nowhere is killing me. I wish time stood still to let me halt and think. But no, life goes on and things keep changing.