meeting expectations

The past week had been a hectic and tiring one. The new timetable wasn't doing anything to help the stacks and stacks of marking I should have completed during the holidays. Thank goodness tomorrow is Good Friday.

I think I'm a rather thrashy teacher. A little clueless, a little behind time, a little blur..and sometimes the lack of experience and knowledge in the area of literature takes a big chunk out of my confidence and credibility during lessons.

Some of my students are more straightforward and they tell me not so nice things in my face. I hate to give the excuse that I'm untrained because I feel it's a responsibility to do my best. I am. However, my students see it as inefficient and I'm not meeting their expectations. Sometimes, it feels terrible because it almost seems I'm giving excuses everytime I try to explain.

Just had Meet the Parents session until 9pm. Reached home at 2pm thinking I could have a good nap but received a phone call to go down at 430pm to get ready for it. Totally slipped my mind, and I took the chance to rest before heading down again.

The session was okay. Quite an eye opener. I still remember my own Meet the Parents session way back in secondary 2. I wasn't a particular good student, and I remember it didn't feel exactly fantastic to be grilled about stuff you didn't do in front of your parents and teacher.

Spent the entire time speaking and explaining to parents regarding their kids' performance in literature. It didn't feel too good failing three quarters of a class, and I had much explanation to do. I still have to settle the issue for giving double zeros to a particular kid who didn't hand up his assignments. However, the parents seemed satisfied with what I had to say.

Oh well..suffering from a headache at this instant..I don't get these often but I guess the previous week has taken quite a toll on me.

what u get when u blog when sleepy.

In our lives, we meet many people. Strangers, acquaintances, friends, good friends, best friends. Some make a significant difference, some just fleet past our minds, barely registering in our memories.

Some of the people we meet develop into 'hi bye' friends, some of them might just stay acquaintances. And there are several who would become close pals, while others we forget about a few years down the road.

Which makes me wonder how many people I am in contact with now will become at least an acquaintance or maybe a friend that will still be there 5 years down the road..

Ok.. I intended to write more. However, I'm too tired to carry on. Blahh..

just an update..

The past week has been overwhelming, in bits and pieces. I mean it in a good way though. Sometimes, things just happen and the moments, though fleeting, are beautiful.

I guess this is how life is. Unpredictable. You can be reeling with excitement one moment and the next, you have the wind sucker-punched out of you by something you didn't even see coming.

For me, at least for now, life seems to be cruising along at the right pace and right direction. One thing I've learnt recently is that we should make the most out of the present. Seize every opportunity to make every moment you live worth remembering.

I say this because sometimes we tend to get too caught up in the past that it prevents us from moving forward. We dwell too much in its shadows that it deprives us of the multitude of opportunities that creep past us without our knowledge. And once a moment is gone, it's lost forever.

School holidays this week. No school, no pay. I have a whole lot of marking to complete. They just keep coming it's scary. The classes are actually hurrying me for the assignments and tests. Busy is good though. I love busy.

you might not understand this post

Today I'm going to break my number 1 rule in blogging. I am going to hold back on my writing and feelings. Mainly because my students read this blog and I don't think it's appropriate to write everything down.

Students, if you are reading this, let me apologise first for being slightly irrelevant and incoherent in my lesson today. Some of you might have caught me staring into space thinking, and ignoring you. I apologise for letting my feelings and emotions get in the way of my lesson. I am sorry for undermining the professionalism and responsibility I'm required to display.

Earlier, I've said something about not writing everything down because it's inappropriate. Scratch that. I don't think I'll be able to do so even if I tried. Things are just a total mess right now. My mind's clouded with a million thoughts that I have been trying very hard to put in perspective but to no avail.

I tried to cast them at the back of my head and lose myself in the pile of literature assignments but they all start coming back to me, pleading for some form of resolution..or at least some organization.

The thoughts just don't flow smooth. So many coursing through my mind, yet all scraping the surface of comprehension.

I have already made my point clear last night. Time is on our side. Yet, I don't think I can continue with what I've set out to do in the midst of this seemingly interminable wait. It's only been that number of hours since yesterday but I can't get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

I've already explained that it's necessary. Things can't just move on if one is held back by one thing or another. Lying to yourself is wrong. So taking a step back for a breather always helps.

I'm sorry for being a tad emo. However, I had to if not I would explode. I guess that's what emo does. I know, emo is a form of release..

It's not easy to hide your hurt behind a smile.

this is special

" Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breaths away. "

You must have heard this quote somewhere before since it's kind of common. I personally, try to avoid using cliches, but sometimes cliches are cliches because they have truth and meaning behind them. They, in turn, played significant roles in one's life one time or another.

The past week had been nothing short of special. Although there had been doubts and questions, it all became clear just a while ago.

It was surreal and it still is. It would probably take a while to register everything into this part of my memory which I'll treasure for the rest of my life.