Sunday, January 25, 2009

my desire to write something is back

I admit for one point in time I forgot that I had actually a blog in existence and the main reason for my absence was because I was caught up with all the changes that had happened and just wasn't in the 'writing' mood.

Blogs are an extension of the ego, they say. Surely, even the word 'blog' just gives me the no holds barred, all things go type of vibe. Technically, by definition, it means 'web log', which has significantly less excitement than the word 'blog'. How irrelevant, but who cares, it's a blog.

Just a couple of updates in my life..

1st semester is done. Being clueless in the first sem didn't hurt me too much fortunately. Although the module choices had been screwed up from the start, I managed to do decently well by my standards. The last 3 months also gave me the confidence that nothing else in future could be worse than 'maths 5 hours a week, 3500 chinese essay, 1500 word political sci essay' type of combination. I could be wrong about this. I hope not.

Relationships have also become complicated. It's not 'official' anymore. Key word here is 'official' and I refuse to elaborate more because I try to avoid brooding too much. In December I probably hit the lowest point of my life. Before I start to sound emo, let me cover it up with slightly fancy vocab such as 'wall-punching' and 'hair-tearing'. Now it sounds angsty but in actual fact, I was really upset. For a couple of weeks, I blocked out all thoughts and got on with my daily life in denial. I felt like crap. It's probably more complicated than I think, even up till this point, though I hate to admit it. I can't say I have 'recovered' from the issue yet, because it's still in the balance and serious doubts have been bugging me from no end. No, am not ok, in case you decide to ask.

On a relatively lighter note, I've been working on a makeover. Yes, I mean an appearance makeover. Not that I want to, but I'm taking the stage end Feb and I can't have an 'uncle' style anymore. 'Uncle style' is a pro-comfort, color combination don't matter, dad's sandals type of style, the best way to blend into the background. It's also not really fantastic to hear that you look sleepy while attempting to channel 'emo' because of small eyes. So I've opted back to the less comfortable of optical aids - lenses. This way my 'electrifying' eyes won't be blocked by my supposedly trendy but not glasses. Sad.

Time to shop for a new wardrobe as well. I think it sounds pretty frivolous and I feel bimbotic.

Today's CNY eve and I guess my parents and I are having our reunion at Astons. It's so CNY feel I love it.

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