a cheem-by-my-standards post about 'change'

The secondary 3s had to write a one word essay about 'Change' during their June holidays. Probably the setter of the question wanted them to speak about their views of the ever changing world, or maybe recall the last transformation in their lives that has impacted them significantly whatsoever. It could also be highly likely he was looking for reflection over the past 6 months or his entire life.

Ploughing throught 30 plus essays on 'change' was more boring than expected. Most were mundane, some were brinking on the edge of the unbelievable, while others lacked logic in parts. Surprises came in the form of 'change' being something you receive from the shopkeeper after using the big note. Not a pleasant surprise I must say, because as realisation of the irrelevant plot sank in, my heart did the same.

On a personal basis, life has also been on the edge of significant change especially this couple of weeks. The rollercoaster of emotions has been taking me for a ride during this period, when the days leading to varsity entry looms up on me inevitably. My feelings are hardly justifiable, especially since a year back, I was more than geared up for it. Now, it just seems that I am dreading the day I step in that is matriculation, and my confidence seems to be wearing away.

7 months outside and gradually slipping into the comfort zone I suppose. Yet, I can do nothing to stop myself from feeling apprehensive despite being fully aware. Feeling much better now though, as I'm convinced this is just anxiety and the impending fear of the big unknown playing the devil.

I'll probably get into the flow of things in less than a week. Hopefully.

Another big change will probably be the fact that I'm moving house. In fact, at the point of writing, I can say that I'm moving this afternoon, officially. The new house is a big one, something to look forward to everyday. Possibilities are endless. Yet the current one harbours the memories of the past 2 decades, and probably slightly more for my parents. It's been a difficult decision but we all hope the new environment brings with it a whole new world of living and creating fresh memories.

Now as I'm sitting in my spartan room typing this post, I notice the echo resounding off the hollow walls and floor everytime I ponder aloud. Cupboards and shelves are presently empty. Once the untidy abode has become a hollow shell for the next occupants to fill in. I sound emo but I'm not. I'm just expressing myself.

I told my students once it's always meaningful to be able to write about a real personal recount in an essay, but avoid if it may turn out boring for exam purposes. If anyone took this part of what is happening to my life now and turn it into an essay, it would probably need a hell lot of good vocab and vivid reflections to transform it into a winning one. Anything less even I will fail it.

It is always good to note that behind every seemingly normal and mundane transition will carry with it a inevitable tangle of emotions that lives with your subconscious.