reasoning

Before retiring for bed last night, I spotted a huge moth on the mattress. Feeling too sleepy to do anything and not wanting to disturb nature, I plonked down in the foldable chair I had, with just a pillow by my side and tried to sleep.

Which resulted in a not particularly spectacular night of rest as I struggled to find a comfortable position on the stiff canvas like material.

Spent today helping about the house, clearing up after the renovation and putting things back into place. Also caught up with some rest from the night before. By the way, the moth had died the next morning. Hmm.

Recently, I've been full of reason. Reasonable enough to stop with all the silly doubts, yet my emotions keep getting the better of me. One moment I'm in control, the next I'm overcome with the flurry of emotions that get the better of me.

It's not a really good time I'm facing now. Yet, I know I'm fully capable of handling it. Probably I'm choosing not to, because I'm still wondering which is the best path to take now. There seems to be only a direction, but how do I approach it I'm not sure. I need some help here.

There is this big urge to let her know how I feel, although it probably would end up to nothing. I don't even know what she is thinking now, and I surely can't tell. She seems almost passive and that kinda worries me. I regret the fact that I didn't try hard enough to make her stay, although it probably won't work..but I feel I could have done more.